In the grand tradition of "it takes a village to raise a child," some California parents are being forced into "parenting classes" because their children are gang members. These classes are metted out by judges to parents who have children who have been convicted of gang-related crimes for the first time. The hope is that if the parents can be taught how to parent the child, then they can re-guide the child down the path of good, and hopefully keep them out of jail or save them from a worse fate.
The law is called the "Parent Accountability Act," and it aims to guide parents in how to raise their children. My comment about this idea is this: what makes the government the arbiter of what constitutes good parents or good parenting? I know of several cases of parents who are very involved with their children's education and lives, and still their children make poor choices that cause them to get into serious trouble. Does that make these people bad parents? At what point do we say that parents should raise their kids the way that they see fit, and if their children choose to go down a wrong path or make a poor decision, they need to be held accountable. While the appeal of keeping kids (and by extension adults later on) out of jail is great, sometimes we need to let parents do what they think is right and let the chips fall where they may.
The report then goes on to say that the program's slow start is an indicator of the apathy of parents. In other words, parents that don't attend mandated parenting classes simply don't care about their children. They may be too busy working or just disengaged. This has validity on a couple of levels. Many parents of kids that are in gangs or have been convicted of gang-related crimes are from poor, minority backgrounds. The gang provides a type of familial affiliation that may be lacking at home because mom and dad may be too busy working to put food on the table and clothes on the backs of the family to sit down to play "Uno" every night. While ignoring the children that one gave birth to is certainly not acceptable on any level, in today's economic times, and in the struggling economic times of the economically disadvantaged, working multiple jobs is the only way to stay afloat.
Sometimes, a parent needs to teach by example. Showing a child hard work and thrift is parenting as much as sitting down and talking. Kids today are exposed to many different influences, both positive and negative. They choose to make negative associations. No one puts a gun to their head and tells them to join a gang. The child makes that choice. When the child does that, they also make a choice to accept the consequences.
What makes the state such a great teacher of parenting anyway? To me, the state teaching people how to parent is very Orwellian. By telling people how to raise their kids, the state almost assures a group that is lock-step with the statist ideals being espoused by the government. Parenting can be summed up in a few sentences. Teach by example. Make sure your kids understand the birds and the bees. Teach them that drugs, guns, and gangs are bad news. Show them you love them by providing love and attention to them when they need it most, even when the get in trouble for not following your rules. Set boundaries. Stand up to your kids: you are in charge, not them. 'Nuff said.
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